Because all what we have is now
“..And little by little I will start to understand more of myself too. Just slowly is ok, I don’t think I have to hurry anywhere anymore. In my head tonight I say it’s ceasefire, and tomorrow another ceasefire and the soldiers can have their long lasting cigarette break and another, until they forget any war ever existed. ”
Jaakko, rest your head now.
I have arrived to my wife’s hometown in Mie. I was planning to stay in Yokohama until end of this week, because of Yokohama Art Department event which was organized by my friends in Art Mania.
But since my wife is pregnant and the baby seems to come earlier than expected, I decided I must return here as soon as possible.
Island Mother shooting and the Monday’s session after it, with my friend Saeko Nakahara, was very fascinating and emotionally moving process.
I feel humbled by it, and you know, being such a crybaby, I couldn’t stop my tears. The theme itself is about life and death, and one’s passing through life. Saeko was totally amazing. I have never met anyone so talented in my life so far.
Perhaps it wouldn’t be wrong to say that part of me was burned away in the process of making these images.
And I’m saved by it.
The images are completed now, and there’s nothing more to add.
I hope I will continue to have the necessary courage to fight and challenge myself. Because it’s my job to take a photo.
I wrote to JPG Mag self-portrait title “I Fear the Cold Wind of the Society”. For my happy surprise, I received some encouraging words from my fellow photographer Maya:
http://jpgmag.com/photos/3299575
What I meant by that title wasn’t really as melancholic as it turned out to be, and I certainly didn’t mean Japanese society, but all societies in general, regardless of location or country.
I was bullied in school, you know, and compulsory army service wasn’t exactly the nicest experience for me either, and both of them, during the years of my youth, represented a kind of society. And I guess I’ve never really been able to adjust into any kind of society.
And I am easy to get panic attack if I have to operate under pressure in front of many people.
But as Maya wisely wrote: “Be a tree of wholeness rather than a tree in the forest.”
I feel somehow comforted by this wisdom. We don’t have to belong to the group in order to operate within one. And we can always leave if we feel so.