I have withdrawn to my dark and air-conditioned cave filled with the things I love. I can create any CG I want and make any music I want.

Then I look at the world outside my window.


Actually I took this last year. Despite the data getting grimmer, Japan is promoting Go to Travel campaign. It’s bizarre. Any non-essential travel should be minimized during a novel virus pandemic. This is a common sense.

I miss my hometown in Finland. I have no idea when I will be able to return. Maybe someday.

Why it hurts

My son used to cry during evenings. I asked him, “why do you cry?”. He said because he doesn’t want the day to finish.

When I take photo I feel like that. I don’t want the moment to finish.

I guess I can speak keigo, honorific Japanese. It’s not that difficult and after 13 years I should be able to add -masu and -desu to the words. Should be not rocket science.

Guys at the office complained that I speak too good Japanese, but that my Japanese is way too casual for work setting.

Somehow it just never sounds natural from my mouth. I can’t be myself in that way, I can’t relax and words don’t come from my mouth. I understand I am being rude speaking such casual way with strangers. But it’s not my intention to be rude or impolite. And actually using honorific words in wrong situation can also be rude, even more so I think.

There is no question how failed and imperfect person I am. But I think words should be spoken spontaneously and with good intention.

Actually what is music? If we define it as something like “human made acoustic harmonic” I feel it is too limited. Birds and whales are singing, right? And is harmony required for music?

I would like to think that anything can be music.

Even after so many years living in Japan, I still feel really interested in the subtle culture differences of our countries. These innocent differences and sometimes funny ways to come across them really fascinates me.

Especially the differences in the thinking between men and women of Japan and abroad is something romantic and kind of arousing.

Humans should kind of collide to each other innocently with full of curiosity. (perhaps let’s do that safely only after the present crises.)

Recently I think of the meaning of life and death. My partner has a chronic illness and she is vulnerable to the virus.

What does it really mean to be alive? I try to smile despite the fear.

I thought to write my blog everyday from now as long as I can. So this is kind of self discipline test to attempt this public journal.

The condition in Europe is severe. Then this global emergency could be compared to that of a war.

Here in Japan however, the government is lax and merely suggested people of going out. In grocery shop cashier line, people queue just as before without a safe distance. People hang out just the same since restaurants are open, and people commute to office. Business as usual, despite the global pandemic.

I fear the consequences of these inadequate precautions.