My Lovely Teacher Friends

I met my old friends today in my hometown, Alavus. They are both teachers, and both have taught me in high school. It was how I first met them.

My friend taught me English and Swedish, and my friend’s (lovely!) wife taught me religion, philosophy and psychology. During my school days I was always bullied and I have almost nothing but a negative experience from school, except the classes which I received from my new friends.

Really good teacher is not a teacher actually. Really good teacher inspire, light a small spark in person’s heart. This spark can catch a fire.

When I met my friends today I understood how both of them have that natural, rare talent to inspire. They changed my life for the better. And they did it again today.

I am eternally grateful for them.

Returning

Loving takes courage. To accept love takes courage too.

It’s been really amazing to return to my green hometown, and see and smell the lake again. It’s so peaceful here, there’s almost no sound at all during the evening hours. Occasional bird cries, and neighbour’s dog barks. After ten a clock it’s like entire nature goes to sleep.

It’s rather different from life in Yokohama.

People of this town live their lives embracing the routine of everyday life, close to the beautiful Finnish nature. They have their big sadness and sorrow, and biggest of happiness. They are not afraid to take eye contact when talking to you, even though you are clearly outsider; a person who visits the town less than once than year. Even if you speak foreign language in front of them, they won’t be afraid of you.

I guess these years in Japan have changed me. It’s funny that now since I’m foreigner I can actually feel closer to the people of my hometown. I don’t care what’s similar or different with Japan.  It’s truth that your hometown has kind of made you. So I must accept that I am always kind of part of this landscape, regardless of what I think, I just can’t escape that psychological fact.

Why do we always expect our hometown to stay the same, no matter how many years we are away? It’s because nothing else in our lives stay the same. Everything is changing. People get older, people fall in love, suffer, make children, divorce, grow, die. Trees are cut down,  and the old road is changing. New seeds are planted.

Only thing that remains same is love. It takes courage to accept that. It’s like national water system. The supply never runs out. Knowing how my own days are limited, I decided just to let go of attachment to the old. My family says they love me. I say, “right back at ya!”

 

Leaving to Finland

It’s been quite a while since I’ve been to my home country.  I went there in last November and met my now 90 years old grandma. It was one big return for me which I did alone.

Now I will be spending two weeks in the great green Finnish summer, smelling the distant forest flowers, taking sauna and swimming in my childhood lake.

It’s always almost a shock to realise how different Finland smells. The smell is so different, it’s another world.. and trees look and sound different too. The sound of leaves of birch trees make when wind touches them.. it’s the sound of my childhood. I used to climb on one of those and fell more than once.. (maybe that’s why I became like this!)

My biggest desire now is to take off my shoes and walk on the green grass, looking at the Finnish summer clouds.

Being happy might not be so complicated. It might be very simple. Just breathe, and open your arms.

Exile

Recently I have been very moved about Jinmo’s music, and it helped me to reach into those feelings deep inside myself. So I thought to record my face while listening his album “Eden”, and then those feelings just came. It’s so beautiful that it hurts. So then I thought maybe my face can convey that feeling.

Check out Exile in Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/69947887

I was adopted when I was two years old, and I had to say goodbye to my grandma and all of my biological relatives. Adoption means actually to adapt. You just have to accept it. That’s extremely hard for two years old boy.

But these days I actually feel I’m kind of embraced by the world. So my feeling has changed, but that’s only just recently.

Then, it was great to visit Whole Creation today after a long time and I had chance to record beautiful voice of Kagaya. I love you guys, you’re so cool! 🙂

Here is link to Jinmo’s album Eden.
Learn more about JINMO.

Pain of Photography

I find Susan Sontag’s words healing in some strange way, in this chapter she writes about photos of Arbus,

“According to Reich, the masochist’s taste for pain does not spring from a love of pain but from the hope of procuring, by means of pain, a strong sensation; those handicapped by emotional or sensory analgesia only prefer pain to not feeling anything at all.”

It could be argued that photographers seek connection to the world through their photos, great photographers often have had some traumatic event in some point of their lives, after which they find it difficult to connect to the world same way as other people can normally. Ordinary days feel so alien to us..

Photographs may become a way for people to feel something, but it’s at the same time, looking photographs also anesthetize.

Photography can be a way of ultimate cure, entire lifestyle which is built on supporting and protecting the artist’s soul. And at the same time, moments recorded on photographic paper turn into dust, photos themselves fade and disappear, and people forget them. Life is fragile like a piece of paper, other side being death, it takes a faint breeze of dust to flip it around, unexposed image becomes exposed.

Yet, recorded evidence of life makes somehow everything seem less painful, even though actually it might worsen the pain itself in form of nostalgia.

NYIP Feedback

I am really glad to receive the feedback, particularly on this outdoor shade photo. It seems this portrait of beautiful Kayo made impact for the NYIP instructor. The instructor quoted Pulizer winning photographer,

“When you are taking pictures,  you just don’t want to take pictures what show the situation, you want to take pictures which show how it feels like to be there”

If I can be successful in showing audience the mood of the situation or my connection to the subject, then, taking photographs is the thing I want to do.