I found old film that I had forgotten to develop. I had seen it floating around in my cupboard. Today I finally decided to develop it. I was unsure if it was some test film that had just some nonsense or blank frames in it. After pouring out the fixer I was happy to notice it had images.
I used to have a friend from Kyoto. She visited Yokohama sometimes. I lost in touch with her. She was in one of the frames.
Actually taking reliving a moment through photos is unnatural. Before we had camera we were not able to do that, we had to live in the moment because we had no way of getting the moment back. Maybe to take photo is one of our way to fight entropy, our effort to try to avoid the inevitable heat death. Actually universe is getting colder little by little but we humans try to keep warm.
I used to say “it is very natural action for me to take a photo” but actually can photography be natural? Because it is like cheating, we try to hold onto what cannot be held onto.
Seeing images like this and being reminded of people I no longer can see.. It does make me feel.
Dear friend of mine helped my office work today. I had such a great day working with her. I am thankful to know such a person in my life.
After work I visited my son’s old kindergarten. The place has a special meaning for me. Somehow everyone there is so kind always and I have nothing but good memories of the place. The president of the kindergarten is really smart and kind man, he really has international mind, like a library of knowledge.
The nurses are all unique and kind people. I can imagine how they watch life flowing by them. It has been over nine years since I first visited the place. Tonight it was hard to hold back tears when I left.
My friend and model Tomoko visited me in Christmas Eve after many years. We have been taking pictures over many years. I remembered the path of photographer and model is a journey after all. Years do not change the invisible communication.
We were able to resume taking pictures like there was no break at all.
Thank you the woman in my pictures for making my winter a little a bit more gentle.
Moriyama Daido insists that photography is not art but a kind of documentation or photocopying reality. But documents enrich our lives spiritually same way than art does. Photography makes me live more the same way as watching Tarkovsky film or Kawase Naomi’s movie. Documentary but fiction.
Of course what Moriyama means is that photography means capturing things that already exist rather than creating them from scratch. We live on a tightrope between journalism and fiction. If only journalism it is news, if only fiction it is a movie. Photo is a strange accidental creature.
Like Moriyama also feel this is what photography means for me. Photo must have a raw and uncontrolled element the lack of control that makes us small like a fragment of dust. We are not artists and we have no friends.
I do not like ”fine art photography”, especially ”classic European nudes. They objectify women’s bodies in vulgar way even though not showing much. For me Araki’s work has been always innocent and I cannot get enough of it. The true innocence doesn’t come from hiding, it comes from the real love and courage.