I guess I can speak keigo, honorific Japanese. It’s not that difficult and after 13 years I should be able to add -masu and -desu to the words. Should be not rocket science.

Guys at the office complained that I speak too good Japanese, but that my Japanese is way too casual for work setting.

Somehow it just never sounds natural from my mouth. I can’t be myself in that way, I can’t relax and words don’t come from my mouth. I understand I am being rude speaking such casual way with strangers. But it’s not my intention to be rude or impolite. And actually using honorific words in wrong situation can also be rude, even more so I think.

There is no question how failed and imperfect person I am. But I think words should be spoken spontaneously and with good intention.